beautiful, isnt it
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
animal or a god?

can't wait to watch myself cope.
at 6:44 PM
Monday, July 30, 2012
超人就是把内裤当外衣. 日常生活中却天天装傻.. 打扮成普通人多明显谁都看不出. 他多么孤独啊. 但他仍然无微不至地继续拯救世界. 这..就是超人!
at 9:34 AM
ppl alw say "hopes and dreams" in the same phrase, as if they are similar, or even the same things.. well they are not. the latter keeps you alive but the former kills. lots of things kill haha.
at 12:06 AM
Sunday, July 29, 2012
that's alright cos i like the way it hurts haha.
at 11:46 PM
we are living on this planet as if we had another one to go to.
- terry swearingen
at 2:04 PM
Saturday, July 28, 2012
i think you're right.

and i think you're right.

so that's it la. there isn't more to life. its just like it is in pulp fiction. everyday life, is just normal. there isn't more you can get out of it. but there is much more that you can have with it. people who are truly happy, are so because they find the many small things to be happy about.

then what do you do when all the small things to be happy about are over? they are but memories now. just keep thinking about what's alr happened and be happy?

no la, you find new small things to be happy about lor. there's no other way about it.

and i guess if i may add, don't expect too much of the future that remains to be seen. not especially when it depends on the "change of another".

that being said, i do hope that one day of dreams isn't too short notice. i hope that something happens today.. but then hoping isn't very good. perhaps, however today turns out, i will start finding small things to be happy about..!
at 2:59 PM
haha omg this life of vice, vice. i'm never gonna stop cos it feels so nice.
at 3:58 AM
Thursday, July 26, 2012
罢了
at 5:54 PM
so i go on and live my life.

i'm aging too fast leh.


so many things have changed..

i'm no longer able to be bothered with maximising my returns, or with what potential the future holds. as i grow older, the future just looks darker and darker. and maybe that makes the past look really bright. i'm not sure which caused which but it rly doesn't matter. it just bothers me that i feel that the future holds nothing much for me, and i don't seem to be putting myself in any better positions about it. i'm tired, and i just live day by day, half given up. waiting for a falling star to land on the Earth. but we all know they just disappear off the horizon..

go on with yourselves! i am not envious.. i still have to see how. in the meantime, i'm just a little bit lonely..
at 4:17 PM
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
i would die, if you asked me to die. guess you asked me to be tortured
at 10:04 PM
i should stop seeking perfection anywhere but within myself
at 5:59 PM
Monday, July 23, 2012

this is for all the people who have double standards haha.

the ulcer has delayed wound healing.. so give it some time, and my tongue will be normal again. give it some time, and i will recover. it's painful, but i shall be fine.

i will find my own piece of blue sky
at 10:37 PM
Monday, July 16, 2012
am i an animal or am i a god?
at 7:07 PM
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
the line draws so fine between healthy and unhealthy

desired and undesired

want and need

12 and 1

wake and sleep

3 and 2

2 and 1

1 and none

here and there

is and non-existent

embrace and receding touch

that the line isnt truly a line, but a thin air on which we tread.

tread it powerfully, empowered, and live the next day and onwards

fruitfully. has to be beautifully. but hopefully, onwardly.
at 1:32 AM
Sunday, July 08, 2012
rethink
at 7:30 PM
rethink
at 1:20 PM
my 48yo muslim malay cab driver uncle said,

"go and pray, no- you're a free thinker right? go and meditate, go and think about things."

"i was also 20 years old once, and i know how rough it can get. but this is the time when you have to set your own direction."


i'm so powerful at all the negative things. there must be a way for me to be positive and still be myself. rush, and think fast, and being capable.. actually anything is nothing if you're not happy. perhaps find that.
at 1:11 PM
Saturday, July 07, 2012
am i an animal or am i god?


its a friday and everyone is going out to get drunk as if they have thirsted for alcohol the entire week. sadly, i am sober and accessible to sleep which i need. but i am not sleeping because my heavy eyelids are not heavier than my heart that no longer wants to get married and wants to live poorly like this.

the smoke is to mask the pheromones. but i think after all that, perhaps the signals and messages exchanged have become finally intelligible. perhaps.

are we animals or gods? it wouldn't matter if i can handle.
at 12:08 AM
Thursday, July 05, 2012
sigh this is just life la

when you miss a bus, you just gotta take the next one 17 mins later.

when a patient dies on your table, you just gotta save the next one.

when you miss a boat, you just gotta buy the ticket for the next one.

your MMR is never going to be 100%, not especially for me


live life again the next day. we'll meet one day in the ED
at 1:55 AM
Lor Ah Soo
at 1:16 AM
Monday, July 02, 2012
能不能多点快乐片段?
at 10:11 PM
i deserve a better life than this. study well, and know what i am doing. with one swift motion, i ought to achieve what i want to do. keep the big picture in mind, instead of focusing on achieving the small things that lead me to it. my impatience has kept me focused on checking each of those things off.. no. i should just do those things so that i can reach the big picture of who i want to be. my actions have to flow, be steady, and in one sleight of hand, do what i want to do. that has to be a hallmark.

i'm made for great things, and everything else is collateral. collateral i must deal with, but it is those great things i am made out for. so i deserve better. and i should give myself better.
at 5:00 PM
Sunday, July 01, 2012
you dont know how much i'm hurting
at 12:46 AM
i'm better than this
at 12:11 AM