Wednesday, February 29, 2012
feeling horrible and alone..
maybe the need to permanently study is driving me crazy, but i'm starting to think, "so this is life?" i gotta secure a way to make money, so that i may sometimes go out to play? go on nice dates, go places like japan and korea, and places i miss in europe? how can this be? i had thought life is more. was discussing this with kevin a few days ago - i feel like i need something to give myself gratification. being a doctor and saving lives.. doesn't give me self-gratification. heck, anyone who helps others because it gives them self-gratification is damn lame. isn't being able to do good and help someone, more of a duty? an obligation i'd readly comply with, a 举手之劳. as such, i don't get gratification from being a doctor and helping others, i feel. i just feel its pretty essential and good, and i feel," oh, not bad". but then i feel my life is empty. how can life feel so empty? i need some selfish reasons to live. i need things in my life that make ME happy..
maybe the need to permanently study is driving me crazy, but i'm starting to think, "so this is life?" i gotta secure a way to make money, so that i may sometimes go out to play? go on nice dates, go places like japan and korea, and places i miss in europe? how can this be? i had thought life is more. was discussing this with kevin a few days ago - i feel like i need something to give myself gratification. being a doctor and saving lives.. doesn't give me self-gratification. heck, anyone who helps others because it gives them self-gratification is damn lame. isn't being able to do good and help someone, more of a duty? an obligation i'd readly comply with, a 举手之劳. as such, i don't get gratification from being a doctor and helping others, i feel. i just feel its pretty essential and good, and i feel," oh, not bad". but then i feel my life is empty. how can life feel so empty? i need some selfish reasons to live. i need things in my life that make ME happy..
feeling randomly like shit, and oddly calm in a can't-be-bothered-with-all-this state of mind
Monday, February 27, 2012
i'll still carry the insects gently out the window.. i'll still be the animal-loving me.
i should still be the best that i can be. but this is a slippery slope i am trying to climb out of.
i should still be the best that i can be. but this is a slippery slope i am trying to climb out of.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
it's easy if you try
Friday, February 24, 2012
i'm still learning. but this will do for now.. until my two feet bring me there.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
it just isnt huh.
it's a beautiful, beautiful day :)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
i feel like you are my link to sanity, especially these days.
you make me realise by myself that i shouldnt be destroying myself,
that i should stop destroying myself,
or at least wean off the process, once i can handle it.
i think you might just change someone's life. i hope you do.
you make me realise by myself that i shouldnt be destroying myself,
that i should stop destroying myself,
or at least wean off the process, once i can handle it.
i think you might just change someone's life. i hope you do.
Monday, February 20, 2012
hiok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
fear
vs
feeling happy eating a plate of leftover strawberries cos they are so mildly sweet and nice
vs
feeling happy eating a plate of leftover strawberries cos they are so mildly sweet and nice
Monday, February 13, 2012
如果有一天
撞上一个小缺口
撞上一个小缺口
Thursday, February 09, 2012
to bros.
Monday, February 06, 2012
yes, we make our own destiny
i make my own destiny
fiery me, i dont deserve to be this tired and hateful
fiery me, i dont deserve to be this tired and hateful
Friday, February 03, 2012
"it seems that everything we do in life turns out to be either illegal, immoral, fattening or, most disturbingly, possibly carcinogenic."
- robbins
she eyes me like a pisces when i am weak
i've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
i've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
your advice
meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath
broken hymen of your highness i'm left black
throw down your umbilical noose so i can
climb right back
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
your advice
she eyes me like a pisces when i am weak
i've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
i've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
your advice
your advice
your advice
i've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
i've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
your advice
meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath
broken hymen of your highness i'm left black
throw down your umbilical noose so i can
climb right back
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
your advice
she eyes me like a pisces when i am weak
i've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
i've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
i've got a new complaint
forever in debt to your priceless advice
your advice
your advice
your advice
Thursday, February 02, 2012
there is no certainty, only opportunity.