Thursday, June 30, 2005
today sucked. basically everythursday sucks. the usual routine would be to get back home, play music and do last minute music work till 7.20, arrive at plaza late for music, pray dont screw up, get back home at 10, and start work at 1030. thursdays suck.
i dunno why i m bloggin also felt like haha. actually i m tired and i want to sleep.
sunday is moneyfaces outing (?) shud i go?
lol
wdv
nvm
haha kurtcobain rules.
byebye
i dunno why i m bloggin also felt like haha. actually i m tired and i want to sleep.
sunday is moneyfaces outing (?) shud i go?
lol
wdv
nvm
haha kurtcobain rules.
byebye
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
whee. today was pretty uninteresting. shant blog. bayley team won debates against moor tho. haha. good job seetow and tom and kevin mark, first time debators. :D hahaha. dint manage to catch the full show >< but i saw seetows speech. and it started off pretty well. the end wasnt very good tho. but for first timers the team was pretty good haha.
shall go be guai and do work now.
shall go be guai and do work now.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
my tourniquet
my poison
fountain of life
drought of sorrow
breeze of bliss
seizure of confusion
my glucose my energy
my lethargy my anxiety
smiling wrong
frowning right
a heartless promise
a broken lie
my panadol
my cilice
my sleeping pill
the clarity of the confusion
amidst the blinding darkness
the arrow in the heart could cause eternal bleeding
that fire in the passion could burn too strong
the breath of life could bring in toxins
wat the fucking hell is going on?
better off dead.
oh well, whatever, nevermind.
my poison
fountain of life
drought of sorrow
breeze of bliss
seizure of confusion
my glucose my energy
my lethargy my anxiety
smiling wrong
frowning right
a heartless promise
a broken lie
my panadol
my cilice
my sleeping pill
the clarity of the confusion
amidst the blinding darkness
the arrow in the heart could cause eternal bleeding
that fire in the passion could burn too strong
the breath of life could bring in toxins
wat the fucking hell is going on?
better off dead.
oh well, whatever, nevermind.
its fun to lose and to pretend
Monday, June 27, 2005
whee. just reached home. shall blog abt today haha
left home realising i dint have my bottle wif me. -.- had assembly where there was the damn lame youth day thing. seetow behind me making remarks u think we all wont laff izzit hahaha.
then new ft2. mr shahrom. then pe. which was ok. softballs. did only throwing today haha.
then we had philo. new teacher also. mr azlan or something. quite a diff experience from mrs d'cruz's classes haha.
then recess. played soccer. within 2L only tho haha. was pretty off form. haha a month no pract alr :D
eng. realised we still had tkamb to do. -.- and everyone brought mov instead. hahahaha. oh well. but mrs d'cruz told us abt her trip to us. lol. received some freesheet thign to do as a proj. something abt newspaper info report or something. then she told us we had to submit a file full of our tkamb notes and works and all that. as well as a notebook of notes we're supposed to keep. i am screwed. i never took any notes. in fact io dint listen much in class. i dint do the worksheets that were given. i dint even study at all for eng ct. thast why i dint notice no notes -.- shit no notes, no ws, no notebook. HAND IN WAT. wahlao i m screwed.
maths. did trigonometry. which kinda made me get headaches since my attention span is very short and i m pretty much quite stupid hahaha. dunno if i got it. somethign abt tangent, sidne and cosidne. still have homework.
lunch played soccer again hahaha. played against 2p plus jinseh. we got thrashed 4-3 or 4-2 i cant rmr. lol. 4-0 down hahaha. then timothy crossed a ball and some how i tycoed an over head flick into some low corner. damn tyco. if miss by a bit then go out alr. but then the keeper is jinseh so yah. haha i m evil. lol. jinseh screwed up the wpolo finals after all. shit. then tom had one i think he dribbled quite a bit then scored. then another one he kicked and it hit thomas ang's leg and went in or something lol. we're gonna die at interclass man.
physics was fun. haha mr paul lim. he went thru name list and talked to all of us. lol. then all sorts of funny stuff like pengseng having gf or bf, then carvin getting jacked into saying dunno when asked if he had kids, mishearing zeming as saying 'gay la' when asked how he was. so on so on hahahahaha.
guitar pract was usual. mr raj in out in out of the room. during his absence the dudes played piano haha. i went to buy somethign to eat after i woke up from sleeping. think it was not used to rigorous excercise hahaha. cos a month not much excercise alr wat. then suddenly today run around in hot sun playing soccer lol. so i have a headache now. or maybe its cos i slept at 1 am doing my chinese erp. oh well. headache now argh. nap during guitar helped tho.
whee. looking forward to tmr. double english, geog, hist and physics again. hahaha. then french lol. prob getting back controle 2 results. i think i failed. i happen to zun zun not able to study for my two controles. lol. i'm pretty sure i'll fail this one hahaha.
but then moelc huh. got STAIRCASE ONE. -winks at someone-
hahahahaha. okok i m mad now. -.- lol.
shall go do the trigo ws. and i dunno how to. and i shall attempt to make some notes abt tkamb so as to save my eng marks.
byebye.
left home realising i dint have my bottle wif me. -.- had assembly where there was the damn lame youth day thing. seetow behind me making remarks u think we all wont laff izzit hahaha.
then new ft2. mr shahrom. then pe. which was ok. softballs. did only throwing today haha.
then we had philo. new teacher also. mr azlan or something. quite a diff experience from mrs d'cruz's classes haha.
then recess. played soccer. within 2L only tho haha. was pretty off form. haha a month no pract alr :D
eng. realised we still had tkamb to do. -.- and everyone brought mov instead. hahahaha. oh well. but mrs d'cruz told us abt her trip to us. lol. received some freesheet thign to do as a proj. something abt newspaper info report or something. then she told us we had to submit a file full of our tkamb notes and works and all that. as well as a notebook of notes we're supposed to keep. i am screwed. i never took any notes. in fact io dint listen much in class. i dint do the worksheets that were given. i dint even study at all for eng ct. thast why i dint notice no notes -.- shit no notes, no ws, no notebook. HAND IN WAT. wahlao i m screwed.
maths. did trigonometry. which kinda made me get headaches since my attention span is very short and i m pretty much quite stupid hahaha. dunno if i got it. somethign abt tangent, sidne and cosidne. still have homework.
lunch played soccer again hahaha. played against 2p plus jinseh. we got thrashed 4-3 or 4-2 i cant rmr. lol. 4-0 down hahaha. then timothy crossed a ball and some how i tycoed an over head flick into some low corner. damn tyco. if miss by a bit then go out alr. but then the keeper is jinseh so yah. haha i m evil. lol. jinseh screwed up the wpolo finals after all. shit. then tom had one i think he dribbled quite a bit then scored. then another one he kicked and it hit thomas ang's leg and went in or something lol. we're gonna die at interclass man.
physics was fun. haha mr paul lim. he went thru name list and talked to all of us. lol. then all sorts of funny stuff like pengseng having gf or bf, then carvin getting jacked into saying dunno when asked if he had kids, mishearing zeming as saying 'gay la' when asked how he was. so on so on hahahahaha.
guitar pract was usual. mr raj in out in out of the room. during his absence the dudes played piano haha. i went to buy somethign to eat after i woke up from sleeping. think it was not used to rigorous excercise hahaha. cos a month not much excercise alr wat. then suddenly today run around in hot sun playing soccer lol. so i have a headache now. or maybe its cos i slept at 1 am doing my chinese erp. oh well. headache now argh. nap during guitar helped tho.
whee. looking forward to tmr. double english, geog, hist and physics again. hahaha. then french lol. prob getting back controle 2 results. i think i failed. i happen to zun zun not able to study for my two controles. lol. i'm pretty sure i'll fail this one hahaha.
but then moelc huh. got STAIRCASE ONE. -winks at someone-
hahahahaha. okok i m mad now. -.- lol.
shall go do the trigo ws. and i dunno how to. and i shall attempt to make some notes abt tkamb so as to save my eng marks.
byebye.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Smells like teen spirit - Nirvana
Load up on guns
Bring your friends
It’s fun to lose
And to pretend
She’s overboard
Myself assured
I know I know
A dirty word
Hello (x 16)
With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea
I’m worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello (x 16)
With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea
And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hello (x 16)
With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea
do you believe in luck?
i believe in luck. bad luck.
Load up on guns
Bring your friends
It’s fun to lose
And to pretend
She’s overboard
Myself assured
I know I know
A dirty word
Hello (x 16)
With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea
I’m worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello (x 16)
With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea
And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hello (x 16)
With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea
do you believe in luck?
i believe in luck. bad luck.
is 6 am a late sleeping time?
last night i slept at 6.
i dunno why i m blogging also haha nothign to say -.-
work work.
i finished one chinese erp poster yay. left the other one. which is abt half done -.- fuck.
shall go off now to uh ATTEMPT to do work. i'll end up chatting :D
byebye
cos the way ur livin now, aint good for your health
last night i slept at 6.
i dunno why i m blogging also haha nothign to say -.-
work work.
i finished one chinese erp poster yay. left the other one. which is abt half done -.- fuck.
shall go off now to uh ATTEMPT to do work. i'll end up chatting :D
byebye
cos the way ur livin now, aint good for your health
i drew these two pics at diff points in my life. today i happened to take pic haha so i post it. incidentally they are the top two thigns i want in my life.
number 1
number 2
haha ok the pics are blur my stupid scanner doesnt work. the first one is a guy holding an umbrella to -WAH- a chiobu. haha saying. life is rainy. lemme be ur umbrella. (x drew that today hahaha
the next one is a pic of a band yay. (x my number 2 dream. KEVIN LIM CAN U JUST FREAKING BE MY GUITARIST. poof. -.- pls???
haha ok enuf of shiz. i saying goodnights to all haha nothign else to blog.
byebye (x
number 1
number 2
haha ok the pics are blur my stupid scanner doesnt work. the first one is a guy holding an umbrella to -WAH- a chiobu. haha saying. life is rainy. lemme be ur umbrella. (x drew that today hahaha
the next one is a pic of a band yay. (x my number 2 dream. KEVIN LIM CAN U JUST FREAKING BE MY GUITARIST. poof. -.- pls???
haha ok enuf of shiz. i saying goodnights to all haha nothign else to blog.
byebye (x
Saturday, June 25, 2005
when u play with fire you'll get your fingers burnt
i'm gonna say this now so that somewhere in the future i can look back and point at this and tell myself i knew it. i knew that day would come.
if that day ever comes i'll probably just laugh and say yes. but i love pain.
if that day comes i'll live faster than ever. and u know wat happens when we live too fast.
lets hope that day will never come. tho i know it most probably will.
i'm gonna say this now so that somewhere in the future i can look back and point at this and tell myself i knew it. i knew that day would come.
if that day ever comes i'll probably just laugh and say yes. but i love pain.
if that day comes i'll live faster than ever. and u know wat happens when we live too fast.
lets hope that day will never come. tho i know it most probably will.
yay back from movie. rocked haha. my mum was like. did u enjoy urself? and i was like. yea. a lot.
-.- ok not everyone got that (x
heh back to doing work. shit. screw it. good point if i m doing work why am i bloggin. -.- fine fine i go do work yay
byebye
when u live fast, you die young
-.- ok not everyone got that (x
heh back to doing work. shit. screw it. good point if i m doing work why am i bloggin. -.- fine fine i go do work yay
byebye
when u live fast, you die young
Friday, June 24, 2005
just a quick update. changed my blog skin slightly. haha finalyl got iframes to work. yay.
watching movie later.
so gotta do work now. sorry for short post heh.
ppl! tagtagtag (:
haha ok byebye
watching movie later.
so gotta do work now. sorry for short post heh.
ppl! tagtagtag (:
haha ok byebye
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
someone wanted to see my guitar.
haha ok i admit i was bored. was playing it just now haha
yah so you seen liao ok happy? (x
haha.
ouch my hand has blister. all limp bizkits fault hahaha i was playing 'eat you a live' and sliding like mad haha so yay blister. ouch. not bad tho haha it sounded like in the song one haha
ok onto today proper
piano exam
i think i failed
before the exam, in some random misc studio, i heard some idiot playing one of my pieces. the hadyn one. his not takign the exam definitely. just some random guy playing.
then zun zun my exam come the examiner chose the hadyn one for me. fuck its my worst piece. i screwed up everysingle thing otehr than motifs.
impro first. did it ok. except for i think 2 slips and 1 extra note >< damn stupid.
then the variations. first was ok but the usual nervous slips
second was also ok but wif the nervous slips also
motifs. quite ok. in fact almost not much faults. i even did dynamics
sightreading. shit. they have weird chords. i read thru abt half the song then play alr. so i play ok ok ok. then unknown territory i jack up. got one part kep fumbling and repeating >< fuck it.
pieces. carriage rushing to a party. i dint play damn slow, adn the paper read moderato. so i played at moderate speed. then the examiners at end of exam were like. why u play so slow! its rushing to the party. but of course must give them respect so i never say anything la
HADYN. SHIT. i screwed up pretty big time. damn nervous cos its my weakest shit. got quite some slips, sometimes very nervous until i couldnt control the speed and volume of my play. played too loud at times. esp the staccatiscimos. howeverthefuck u spell that. i was too damn fucking nervous i played too lous for the staccatiscimos!. dam nit.
shit la i think i fail alr. fuck.
but ohwell its over. so fuck it.
yea well thaha thats abt it for today. haha had trouble tuning back my guitar after tuning it to c# for eat you alive. haha but worth it la now i can play it except for the interlude part. and the heavy jammign is cool hahaha.
damn piano.
haha ok i admit i was bored. was playing it just now haha
yah so you seen liao ok happy? (x
haha.
ouch my hand has blister. all limp bizkits fault hahaha i was playing 'eat you a live' and sliding like mad haha so yay blister. ouch. not bad tho haha it sounded like in the song one haha
ok onto today proper
piano exam
i think i failed
before the exam, in some random misc studio, i heard some idiot playing one of my pieces. the hadyn one. his not takign the exam definitely. just some random guy playing.
then zun zun my exam come the examiner chose the hadyn one for me. fuck its my worst piece. i screwed up everysingle thing otehr than motifs.
impro first. did it ok. except for i think 2 slips and 1 extra note >< damn stupid.
then the variations. first was ok but the usual nervous slips
second was also ok but wif the nervous slips also
motifs. quite ok. in fact almost not much faults. i even did dynamics
sightreading. shit. they have weird chords. i read thru abt half the song then play alr. so i play ok ok ok. then unknown territory i jack up. got one part kep fumbling and repeating >< fuck it.
pieces. carriage rushing to a party. i dint play damn slow, adn the paper read moderato. so i played at moderate speed. then the examiners at end of exam were like. why u play so slow! its rushing to the party. but of course must give them respect so i never say anything la
HADYN. SHIT. i screwed up pretty big time. damn nervous cos its my weakest shit. got quite some slips, sometimes very nervous until i couldnt control the speed and volume of my play. played too loud at times. esp the staccatiscimos. howeverthefuck u spell that. i was too damn fucking nervous i played too lous for the staccatiscimos!. dam nit.
shit la i think i fail alr. fuck.
but ohwell its over. so fuck it.
yea well thaha thats abt it for today. haha had trouble tuning back my guitar after tuning it to c# for eat you alive. haha but worth it la now i can play it except for the interlude part. and the heavy jammign is cool hahaha.
damn piano.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
i feel fucked not when thigns bottle up inside me then it overloads
but when everything comes at me so fucking fast.
so many abrupt changes in such a short time
mental decisions made too fast made too impulsive
things not of material but of spoken promise
things that dont have something there to define it but rather bound to u by words spoken or mental note
when abrupt changes come too fast
and when u regret mental post it notes
when u question memos sent to ur heart by ur brain
when u think abt it and u dunno wat to do next but to live by the moment
when u look at ur life and u say fuck it
thats when u feel fucked.
but when everything comes at me so fucking fast.
so many abrupt changes in such a short time
mental decisions made too fast made too impulsive
things not of material but of spoken promise
things that dont have something there to define it but rather bound to u by words spoken or mental note
when abrupt changes come too fast
and when u regret mental post it notes
when u question memos sent to ur heart by ur brain
when u think abt it and u dunno wat to do next but to live by the moment
when u look at ur life and u say fuck it
thats when u feel fucked.
lol
today was an interesting and eventful day
1030 - 1200: had brunch and read papers and slacked
1200 - 2000: played piano
2000 - now: attempting to do work and blogging(which is now duh)
yes interesting and eventful.
freak. piano exam tmr.
damnit
hmm ok. yay i feel fucked now again. heh. pretty much fucked.
and seeing the look on ur face makes me feel so guilty.
today was an interesting and eventful day
1030 - 1200: had brunch and read papers and slacked
1200 - 2000: played piano
2000 - now: attempting to do work and blogging(which is now duh)
yes interesting and eventful.
freak. piano exam tmr.
damnit
hmm ok. yay i feel fucked now again. heh. pretty much fucked.
and seeing the look on ur face makes me feel so guilty.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Gifts and Curses - Yellowcard
Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.
(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break,
it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.
Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?
(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break,
it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.
Fight on for you ...
i was laffing just now
i just realised wat i attempted to type into the freaking browser. esp for the magic players u shud know
i typed www.wizards.com/edulearn
wtf lor.
lol. todays event shant be here. yay :D hahaha
www.wizards.com/edulearn. wonder wat kinda site it'd be if it ever were created x.X
i just realised wat i attempted to type into the freaking browser. esp for the magic players u shud know
i typed www.wizards.com/edulearn
wtf lor.
lol. todays event shant be here. yay :D hahaha
www.wizards.com/edulearn. wonder wat kinda site it'd be if it ever were created x.X
Sunday, June 19, 2005
ok all of u can skip this post if u dun wanna know the mechanics of fortunetelling and prediction when ur a loser.
lol i realised i forgot to include this in the prev post haha
ok. um. just spout the most unbelievable possible shit when ur in a situation. if every single time zun zun zhong. then u are a fortuneteller. if not. ur not -.- eya haha. just tell urself spontaneously the most unbelievable possibility when ur in a situation. if it really strikes bullseye. ur a fortuneteller. that simple. yet that fucked up. yay.
ok shall go do work haha byebye
lol i realised i forgot to include this in the prev post haha
ok. um. just spout the most unbelievable possible shit when ur in a situation. if every single time zun zun zhong. then u are a fortuneteller. if not. ur not -.- eya haha. just tell urself spontaneously the most unbelievable possibility when ur in a situation. if it really strikes bullseye. ur a fortuneteller. that simple. yet that fucked up. yay.
ok shall go do work haha byebye
for the moment i shall ignore the numerous convo windows i have. ok la not that many lol.
but i shall forgot socializing to save this piece of shit from stagnating
so i shall fill in shit here just to post an entry yay.
hmm wat shall we talk abt.
oh yesyes. ahhh. i'm back to business! haha yes fortunetellign shit open for services.
for the 2L-ers and anyone else that knows that is haha. yep. seems like i'm back to being picked on my the greater entity. so yah. fortune telling is back for business again.
i m attempting to do some crap homework. -.- two du shu bao gao. damn gay. i scared my content not good enuf! but then again i have not started hahahaha
hmms. that stupid blinking thing there. 5 convo windows. screw it. ignore ignore
lalala. nothign to say also actualyl hahahaha. sigh. take a look at some shit:
monday: interhouse debate prep, music pract
tues: pract for music like mad
wed: music exam itself )))))))))x
thurs: more debate and music lesson itself. wtf
thats not fitting in homework. fuck it
fri: yay
lol.
haha.
we went msia. my aunt, adult cousins, and random family ppl. ok i shall list. hmm. aunt, eldest cousin, second eldest cousin, her husband, my niece, 3rd cousin, his gf/wife/fiancee/icantreallyrmr. my mum sis bro and me.
fun la. but rpetty boring actually hahaha. went horse riding yay lol. fun. rising trot. yay. then today before we ame back they taught me how to play pool (yes its noob of me to learn it only now -.-) haha and they let me drink beer! they dint let me order cos i was underage.. so my cousins ordered and they conveniently gave me a glass full hehe. not bad la.
then my phoen batt died
ok thats random.
came back la then nothign alr wat. screw around until now lor -.- haha
yay blinking flashing lights at bottom of the screen! 6 convos. ignore yay.
hmm think this is long enuf to keep this shit from stagnating? lol hahahaha
oh well.
i shall fuck off to do my work now. byebyebye.
but i shall forgot socializing to save this piece of shit from stagnating
so i shall fill in shit here just to post an entry yay.
hmm wat shall we talk abt.
oh yesyes. ahhh. i'm back to business! haha yes fortunetellign shit open for services.
for the 2L-ers and anyone else that knows that is haha. yep. seems like i'm back to being picked on my the greater entity. so yah. fortune telling is back for business again.
i m attempting to do some crap homework. -.- two du shu bao gao. damn gay. i scared my content not good enuf! but then again i have not started hahahaha
hmms. that stupid blinking thing there. 5 convo windows. screw it. ignore ignore
lalala. nothign to say also actualyl hahahaha. sigh. take a look at some shit:
monday: interhouse debate prep, music pract
tues: pract for music like mad
wed: music exam itself )))))))))x
thurs: more debate and music lesson itself. wtf
thats not fitting in homework. fuck it
fri: yay
lol.
haha.
we went msia. my aunt, adult cousins, and random family ppl. ok i shall list. hmm. aunt, eldest cousin, second eldest cousin, her husband, my niece, 3rd cousin, his gf/wife/fiancee/icantreallyrmr. my mum sis bro and me.
fun la. but rpetty boring actually hahaha. went horse riding yay lol. fun. rising trot. yay. then today before we ame back they taught me how to play pool (yes its noob of me to learn it only now -.-) haha and they let me drink beer! they dint let me order cos i was underage.. so my cousins ordered and they conveniently gave me a glass full hehe. not bad la.
then my phoen batt died
ok thats random.
came back la then nothign alr wat. screw around until now lor -.- haha
yay blinking flashing lights at bottom of the screen! 6 convos. ignore yay.
hmm think this is long enuf to keep this shit from stagnating? lol hahahaha
oh well.
i shall fuck off to do my work now. byebyebye.
Friday, June 10, 2005
i dunno wtf
i felt like blogging
i dont really want it to be read tho
but i dunno where the fuck else to write
and nope dont fucking ask me wats this about. not i dont want to tell but i dun know
this is gay
i wrote a bit of poetry just now. i just deleted it all. i dunno why
besides the point that it really reall didnt flow and pretty much sucked.
yea
i feel fucked
i need someone to know
but i dunno who to tell
more importantly i dunno wat the fucking hell to tell
i got a feeling i wont wake up tmr. i mean yea if u think abt it yes duh i will wake up
but wat if i dont.
cos i dont want to
nope not suicidal
just. i dunno wtf i just dont think i will wake up tmr
i want someone to know
but i dunno how to tell. i really dunno.
fuck it
and for once i m not blaming life for giving me shit hahahahahaha
because this time i know its not her (life. not some random girl)
even tho its a fucking big misinterpretation
i'm putting the blame on me
cos i m stupid. i m a loser yes but this time its not abt it.
cos i m stupid
fuck it
i dunno
i just feel like bloggin
i feel like fuckign letting everythign out
but i cant
i fuckign dunno how to tell
fuck
(yes paul. i know fuck rocks cos its got the fff and the uuuh and the KKKUHHH. FUUUCKKEHHH.)
regret is somethign i have
i have a fuckload of it.
but its all fucking useless
like tears. (yes in ur eyes they rock)
but tears. when u shed them. when they get out of ur fuckign eyeball. they are useless
just like regret
and i have a fuckload of both inside me now.
oh fuck it
why am i even here babbling shit
no ones gonna fucking understand.
i've regretted loads of shit in my life
nope i dont regret meeting u
but fuck it my biggest regret was not to clarify things up before letting it heal
not to fuckign remove the sand before i patched up the wound
is the wound even patched up.
could it be like fucking bleeding now?
maybe
maybe not
whether its fuckign still bleeding or its patched but wif sand in it. i dont like either
fuck
oh yea. if u all are like bored or something just fuck off. dont waste ur time here. i'm probably either ending this post soon or continueing rambling shit that u wont understand
if someone dint wanna talk i'd leave him/her alone
its ok vice versa. we get the hints. we shut the fuck up.
but when u dont wanna talk. i just want to fucking scream.
i still wanna talk. fuck it talk to me. yes i m gay i m les i m bi wdv it is. talk to me. dont kill me off dont fucking strike me off.
i've made mistakes not clearing things up a bit more. fuck it i've made mistakes questioning my own stupidity.
u see. that night. i was thinking. if i'm not gonna get u in the end why am i still doing all this?
i was doing nothing else but questioning myself and my stupidity
nothign aimed at u
nothign aimed at anything else
nothing but questioning myself and my low level of intelligence
yes. nothing to u at all. nothign abt whether ur worth or not
nothign abt that.
i was just questioning myself. that if everythign was pointless why did i still do it. that if i'm not gonna get u in the end why am i still doing it.
yeap nothign at all aimed at u.
if doing everythign i did was pointless, why did i still do it?
ah because, as i've told u, love is pointless.
i cant claim i know all that. cos i m only ffs 14 yrs old. not even 14 infact.
but wat i do know was that i dint regret doing all that. i regretted QUESTIONING my doing of that.
and wat i know is i feel so fucked tonight. maybe i wont wake up tmr i dunno maybe i will but fuck it.
tonight i say sorry. i m really sorry. whether its misinterpretation. whether u took it as aimed at u. whether now u finally know its nothing at all to u.
i'm sorry.
now maybe its a bad idea to go off broadcasting my fuckign thoughts again. maybe its a bad idea. maybe u'll misinterpret my intentions again. maybe u'll think i m takign another shot at u when i only want to fuckign apologize. maybe its all fuckign wrong to broad cast my fuckign thoughts again.
maybe its so fuckign wrong. i dun fucking know.
i just know that i m sorry.
maybe the misinterpretation hurt u. but the coldness i felt after u felt hurt was undescribable. i couldnt fucking live wif that. yea well we talk and all that. maybe u put it all behind and its really really a bad choice to broadcasting my thoughts again. maybe.
maybe u really put it all behind. maybe its really really a bad fucking idea to dig this up again. yea its probably a bad idea broadcasting my thoughts again and digging this shit up again. yea maybe its a reallyreally bad idea.
but i really want u to know while trying to piece the broken glass back together i cut myself so bad. its really really bad now. ouch ouchouchouch.
so fucking bad.
even so. i'll write my apology in blood then
i m really sorry.
i dun even know if ur gonna read this. or even if ur gonna know its u. but if u do.
i'm sorry.
to all those ppl who like spent time reading thru this and dont understand. i apologize once again. thank you for ur patience to read thru this, whether to gloat or to understand. i'm sorry if u dont understand this. but life is fucking short. maybe i wont wake up tmr. (i think i will la) but if i dont.
i've had fuckload of regrets in my life. one of the biggest so far was to not clear things up. but if i'm gonna leave this post without apologizing i'm gonna regret that even more.
i'm sorry if i hurt you.
this hasnt been a long night but this has been a long entry.
this hasnt been a long life but this has been the longest and most fucking painful experience so far.
i'm sorry.
goodnight and goodbye.
i felt like blogging
i dont really want it to be read tho
but i dunno where the fuck else to write
and nope dont fucking ask me wats this about. not i dont want to tell but i dun know
this is gay
i wrote a bit of poetry just now. i just deleted it all. i dunno why
besides the point that it really reall didnt flow and pretty much sucked.
yea
i feel fucked
i need someone to know
but i dunno who to tell
more importantly i dunno wat the fucking hell to tell
i got a feeling i wont wake up tmr. i mean yea if u think abt it yes duh i will wake up
but wat if i dont.
cos i dont want to
nope not suicidal
just. i dunno wtf i just dont think i will wake up tmr
i want someone to know
but i dunno how to tell. i really dunno.
fuck it
and for once i m not blaming life for giving me shit hahahahahaha
because this time i know its not her (life. not some random girl)
even tho its a fucking big misinterpretation
i'm putting the blame on me
cos i m stupid. i m a loser yes but this time its not abt it.
cos i m stupid
fuck it
i dunno
i just feel like bloggin
i feel like fuckign letting everythign out
but i cant
i fuckign dunno how to tell
fuck
(yes paul. i know fuck rocks cos its got the fff and the uuuh and the KKKUHHH. FUUUCKKEHHH.)
regret is somethign i have
i have a fuckload of it.
but its all fucking useless
like tears. (yes in ur eyes they rock)
but tears. when u shed them. when they get out of ur fuckign eyeball. they are useless
just like regret
and i have a fuckload of both inside me now.
oh fuck it
why am i even here babbling shit
no ones gonna fucking understand.
i've regretted loads of shit in my life
nope i dont regret meeting u
but fuck it my biggest regret was not to clarify things up before letting it heal
not to fuckign remove the sand before i patched up the wound
is the wound even patched up.
could it be like fucking bleeding now?
maybe
maybe not
whether its fuckign still bleeding or its patched but wif sand in it. i dont like either
fuck
oh yea. if u all are like bored or something just fuck off. dont waste ur time here. i'm probably either ending this post soon or continueing rambling shit that u wont understand
if someone dint wanna talk i'd leave him/her alone
its ok vice versa. we get the hints. we shut the fuck up.
but when u dont wanna talk. i just want to fucking scream.
i still wanna talk. fuck it talk to me. yes i m gay i m les i m bi wdv it is. talk to me. dont kill me off dont fucking strike me off.
i've made mistakes not clearing things up a bit more. fuck it i've made mistakes questioning my own stupidity.
u see. that night. i was thinking. if i'm not gonna get u in the end why am i still doing all this?
i was doing nothing else but questioning myself and my stupidity
nothign aimed at u
nothign aimed at anything else
nothing but questioning myself and my low level of intelligence
yes. nothing to u at all. nothign abt whether ur worth or not
nothign abt that.
i was just questioning myself. that if everythign was pointless why did i still do it. that if i'm not gonna get u in the end why am i still doing it.
yeap nothign at all aimed at u.
if doing everythign i did was pointless, why did i still do it?
ah because, as i've told u, love is pointless.
i cant claim i know all that. cos i m only ffs 14 yrs old. not even 14 infact.
but wat i do know was that i dint regret doing all that. i regretted QUESTIONING my doing of that.
and wat i know is i feel so fucked tonight. maybe i wont wake up tmr i dunno maybe i will but fuck it.
tonight i say sorry. i m really sorry. whether its misinterpretation. whether u took it as aimed at u. whether now u finally know its nothing at all to u.
i'm sorry.
now maybe its a bad idea to go off broadcasting my fuckign thoughts again. maybe its a bad idea. maybe u'll misinterpret my intentions again. maybe u'll think i m takign another shot at u when i only want to fuckign apologize. maybe its all fuckign wrong to broad cast my fuckign thoughts again.
maybe its so fuckign wrong. i dun fucking know.
i just know that i m sorry.
maybe the misinterpretation hurt u. but the coldness i felt after u felt hurt was undescribable. i couldnt fucking live wif that. yea well we talk and all that. maybe u put it all behind and its really really a bad choice to broadcasting my thoughts again. maybe.
maybe u really put it all behind. maybe its really really a bad fucking idea to dig this up again. yea its probably a bad idea broadcasting my thoughts again and digging this shit up again. yea maybe its a reallyreally bad idea.
but i really want u to know while trying to piece the broken glass back together i cut myself so bad. its really really bad now. ouch ouchouchouch.
so fucking bad.
even so. i'll write my apology in blood then
i m really sorry.
i dun even know if ur gonna read this. or even if ur gonna know its u. but if u do.
i'm sorry.
to all those ppl who like spent time reading thru this and dont understand. i apologize once again. thank you for ur patience to read thru this, whether to gloat or to understand. i'm sorry if u dont understand this. but life is fucking short. maybe i wont wake up tmr. (i think i will la) but if i dont.
i've had fuckload of regrets in my life. one of the biggest so far was to not clear things up. but if i'm gonna leave this post without apologizing i'm gonna regret that even more.
i'm sorry if i hurt you.
this hasnt been a long night but this has been a long entry.
this hasnt been a long life but this has been the longest and most fucking painful experience so far.
i'm sorry.
goodnight and goodbye.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
lol haha i decided not to spam my board so i shall reply tags here yay.
hi ruiwen. pengseng is DAMN CUTE OK. lol. and yea i love hiokhong. i m a gay narccisist :D and dont listen to japheth he talk a whole lot of cock. the person he likes is the person he says i like.
hi anonymous. why do i think ur kevin lim? lol hahah nvm. and eh hanfeng is a nice guy so yah. his in ussr now. ok his in russia but to that red alert fan it'll always be ussr.
hi natalie! (x i'm sure ur not a sicko lor. ur tag just defeated its purpose. haha u and screwdrivers LOL.
er hi yumin. i dun really get wat yu min. can clarify wat yu min so that i can know wat yu min? thnx.
ok lol jkjk. but haha yea i dint really get wat u meant.
hi tom! :D haha i m not u so i m not shuai. haha and thnx. lol more like YOU ROCK ON LOR. dont get near a vending machine they always have spastic stickers on them saying 'do not rock or tilt. it may cause death'. so yah dont go near a machien or ur life is in danger. haha rock ON. :D
being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up
these are the best days of our lives
hi ruiwen. pengseng is DAMN CUTE OK. lol. and yea i love hiokhong. i m a gay narccisist :D and dont listen to japheth he talk a whole lot of cock. the person he likes is the person he says i like.
hi anonymous. why do i think ur kevin lim? lol hahah nvm. and eh hanfeng is a nice guy so yah. his in ussr now. ok his in russia but to that red alert fan it'll always be ussr.
hi natalie! (x i'm sure ur not a sicko lor. ur tag just defeated its purpose. haha u and screwdrivers LOL.
er hi yumin. i dun really get wat yu min. can clarify wat yu min so that i can know wat yu min? thnx.
ok lol jkjk. but haha yea i dint really get wat u meant.
hi tom! :D haha i m not u so i m not shuai. haha and thnx. lol more like YOU ROCK ON LOR. dont get near a vending machine they always have spastic stickers on them saying 'do not rock or tilt. it may cause death'. so yah dont go near a machien or ur life is in danger. haha rock ON. :D
being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up
these are the best days of our lives
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
haha hello everyone. u all know me la i m damn damn lazy one haha so sorry for not blogging so long
haha tmr class gathering yay hahaha. having pizza in school then playign soccer i think. then after that they watchign movie. haha i really really wanna go but i have NO MONEY WTF SCREW. yea. shit i have no money so i dunno how to go sigh. >< but mainly class gathering for ms chia la haha to say farewell to her and wish her all the best haha
haha tmr class gathering yay hahaha. having pizza in school then playign soccer i think. then after that they watchign movie. haha i really really wanna go but i have NO MONEY WTF SCREW. yea. shit i have no money so i dunno how to go sigh. >< but mainly class gathering for ms chia la haha to say farewell to her and wish her all the best haha
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
hello. quick post here. changed blog pic and blog song. black still tho cos i find white a bit glaring ><
haha nice song hor. bbmak ghost of you and me. it rocks.
yea i gtg liao haha blog next time. :D byebye
haha nice song hor. bbmak ghost of you and me. it rocks.
yea i gtg liao haha blog next time. :D byebye