beautiful, isnt it
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Brain is so painful
at 8:07 PM
Friday, September 16, 2016
Sleep is a lie. Sleep "normal" 6-7 hours will end up more tired than when I sleep 3-4. Fuck this shit. And fuck being sick. Just uncomfortable and can't function. Fuck viruses, fuck ppl who come to work sick and spread this shit, and fuck ppl who expect ppl who are sick to come to work and spread more of this shit. Fuck medicine, all a lie. Fuck all of this haha.
at 8:48 PM
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
wow omg.. assassination classroom turned so deep, and is such a good love story
>< :'(
at 2:47 AM
Monday, September 12, 2016
dad says, follow your interest, if interest lies elsewhere and easy to change line, can change. if not, do for years and get the experience, then still can rage quit to something with relevant experience under my belt.

mum and ger have big dreams for me, think i can do big.

me? i just wanna slack and not work hard. think thats my aim in life. think thats what i do best and am most happy with regardless of what talents i might have. dad thinks i'll be bored and regret though, and I'm afraid too. but given not working hard being my main personality trait, I'm not sure if its worth it to put myself through any more shit haha.

dunno haha. fuck this
at 6:43 PM
Thursday, August 25, 2016
sigh dreading shift as usual. not just shift, work fucking sucks. i don't want.
just trying to keep telling myself tonight that shift will end, and i will see my loved ones again.. :(

on a side note, fresh off the boat is REALLY funny hahaha its a v nice show! now that i've finished the 2 existing seasons i'm just q sian cos like nothing i feel like watching for now hahaha
at 8:05 PM
Friday, August 05, 2016
5th August, 2016

things i wanna do in my life right now:

1) ____ _______
2) get fit so i can serve NS
3) be an intense cardiothoracic surgeon
4) learn the japanese language and live in japan for a while/be free to go there often as i will
5) get married and have a blissful marriage
at 12:58 AM
Wednesday, August 03, 2016
damn sian. just damn sian. i don't want to do all these "things i'm supposed to do" already. i don't want to do this exam, i don't want to need to chase a career. i just want to do the things i want. i just want to have the life and home and family in 5 years time that has yet to happen, i just want to visit the places i want to visit, i want to enrich myself and explore the world, i want to live in japan and live a quiet daily life.

so stressed by all these "things i'm supposed to do". why the fuck. going to go insane in my own box my own mind.
at 6:05 PM
Sunday, July 03, 2016
"Korobeiniki" tells of a meeting between a peddler and a girl, describing their haggling over goods in a veiled metaphor for courtship.



"They meet each other in a rye field at night where he has promised her a good deal on the goods he carries, before they are sold in the market at day. Only the night knows what happens between them in the rye field, but she is not so simple and does not take any of the goods which he offers her. What is the point, she figures, to have all that without him – her first and only love? She takes only a small turquoise ring, as a memory, and he promises to marry her when he comes back from his commerce trip. He continues his journey and she waits for him with caution. His business goes very well and he makes a lot of money, but on the way back he is killed and robbed by a forest ranger whom he asks for directions. So he never comes back to marry Katya."

Oh, my crate is so full,
I've got chintz and brocade.
Take pity, oh sweety,
Of this lad's shoulder

brutal.
at 2:54 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Work hard. For her. For future family.

Stuff I need to keep in mind for all future obstacles too..
at 9:03 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2016
i just feel so crappy this period, doing this dreadful scary posting, and missing you so much.

i just want a normal average life and schedule. with you, thats the best life i'd ever want.
at 2:39 AM