So they say that time
Takes away the pain
But I'm still the same oh yeah
And they say that I
Will find another you
That can't be true oh

When in the realize?
Why did I tell lies?
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Ooh Turnin' back the time
Back when you were mine (all mine)

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Hiroi atsumeta koukai wa,
Namida e to kawari oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Ano hi no kimi no egao wa
Omoide ni kawaru
I miss you

Boku no kokoro o
Yuitsu mitashite satte yuku
Kimi ga
Boku no kokoro ni
Yuitsu furerareru koto ga dekita
Kimi wo

Oh baby
Mou inai yo mou nanimo nai yo
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Ooh Turnin' back the time
Back when you were mine (all mine)

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Hiroi atsumeta koukai wa
Namida e to kawari oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Ano hi no kimi no egao wa omoide ni kawaru
I miss you

It's so hard to forget
Kataku musunda sono musubime wa
Yeah, It's so hard to forget
Tsuyoku hikeba hiku hodo ni

You and all the regret
Hodokenaku natte hanare renaku natta
I'm a wa tsurai yo, sore ga tsurai yo
Sugu wasuretai yo
Kimi wo

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Hiroi atsumeta koukai wa
Namida e to kawari oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Ano hi no kimi no egao wa omoide ni kawaru
I miss you

I miss you
I miss you

You think we'll be one of those old couples that have and want and need only each other?

life is so delicate. what makes life and its occurrences? what but just a series of random and chance events determined by people's actions and consequences, and a whole bunch of unknown factors?

life is so delicate. it is my honour and my fortune to have met you, and stayed with you then. :)

I can't tell if my eyes are tearing because I only got 1 hour of sleep last night, or because of the way Alicia's dad shook my hand and thanked me in the middle of a public pavement.


I'm not good with people. I wasn't the kind of medical student to be chummy enough with the patients. And I'm not the kind of houseman who gets gifts and fruits and cards and coffee from the patient or their family and get to post it on Facebook. Much less the kind that gets praised in the press or the news for his/her achievements. I don't get noticed. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be acknowledged for my achievements, if I even end up having any anyway. I don't know how to do any of these like many of my batchmates. I just don't. I only know how to do things the way that I have put in thought and think is right, and just get those things done those ways. Sometimes I wonder maybe I'm doing it wrongly then. Or maybe, I'm just very unnoticeable. My gestures get outshone, my punchlines get taken, just by any who are louder, more pleasing to the eye, more in with the in crowd.

Sometimes I just wonder maybe I'm not doing things "right" then. I wonder why the fuck am I working so hard. Who am I working so hard for. Cos it just isn't myself. But I can't stop. I can't stop doing what I think is right and getting those things done. Even if it painfully chisels away at my very being, and not the kind that leaves a sculpted figure underneath.

I'm walking the opposite direction from everyone else knocking off from work in this hospital. I am going to this hospital, not the one I am currently working at, after hours, to do work after I have knocked off from work.


For someone who is fighting so hard to achieve his dreams, I sure take shit care of my physical and mental health. Letting myself take part in acts that slowly but surely hasten my death. How.. redundant.

There is and has always been a conflict within me. I want the best and all things good. But I have an immense anger within me too, that hates my existence. In this grossly unfair universe, I realise I always regress to explosive unhappiness because I am greedy and dissatisfied and highly unappreciative however much I try reason with myself to be. And when I realise this I shorten my existence as the only way to dignify the short, impermanent time it has here. So I am cursed. Because this is the way of my life, and I'll keep shortening my life until one day, I am dead.

So, who am I? What am I? What do I embody? What is my ultimate destiny?


The conflict of success or decadence within me. The two CANNOT co-exist.


I need less chaos in my personality and less pain in my brain, so that I may sit down in lotus position and achieve Enlightenment one day. Before the wrong wolf wins.