Saturday, April 30, 2011
lol i think i'm back to being as depressed as ever...
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
haiya
Sunday, April 24, 2011
this is why you should treasure life, because moments are fleeting
i've not blogged for some time..
past week, i stayed over twice in school cos i reasoned that travelling back home takes up too much time :( its not that i'm hardworking, i dont like stayover and study throughout the night! i still sleep 12 to 9 or smth, i just dont have to travel to school in the morn anymore haha!
and as evidenced by today (sunday spent at home), i have to study in sch -.- its not much more productive, but theres no bed/psp/comp to distract me (yes, i'm not even rly watching things or playing comp now, but i just hover here and waste time surfing.. /: ), if i do zone out in school, i return relatively fast cos theres nth to hmm prolong that zoning out xD
squatting in school has been fun :) i chose the least habitable place cos its resultantly also the quietest :) i intended to stay alone, but on both occasions i had friends with me throughout the night :) haha we debate about whether to off the lights as that's when the cockcroaches will start crawling out xD, as arjun put it, although cockroaches arent too bothersome, having the possibility of them crawling into our mouths if we off the lights "is a gamble we would not want to lose" hahaha. actually i've not seen ANY cockroaches before all the time's we've been there, but hello, if the bin has empty subway wrappers, a bengawan solo cake box, and lots of plastic drinks cups with straw and cover trash.. there should be cockroaches right haha.
wow and we actually cleared the bin! haha stacey randomly smsed that she dragged it out cos i guess she couldnt stand the sight of it, and eventually i decided to aiyah just clear the bin and bring it back in cos after all the bin belongs to the room. i overturned it and kept it at a corner, and i hope no one uses it anymore but instead throws their crap themselves at the bins outside of the room D:
mmm, eyes dry (played too much last night when i reached home, havent been home!) tired, deep need to study but sigh. tsk.. hmm. well i'll just finish this post and go back to try again. afterall i'm going back sch tmr.....
i was on the train the yesterday, listening to evanescence's bring me to life haha. such a p5/p6 song.. rmr the guy rapping behind amy lee's singing xD amy lee right? i cant even rmr her name.. i still rmr the days when i was young, and dreamt of being a rapper haha. a RAPPER!!! LOL like eminem, or linkin park.
then i was listening to john mayer's stop this train. i've grown to really like it. its rly nice, and the lyrics have rly nice meaning too.. stop this train, i wanna get off and go home again.. lol i went home and tried to play it on guitar, its surprisingly challenging! after half an hour or so of trying i kinda got the hang of it but wow i think to play it properly really needs practice. and i like the part where he talks to his dad abt when you turn 68, you renegotiate - dont stop this train. hmm... nice song.
suddenly i thought of the story we cooked up for g girish (the one for arjun is as awesome).. and i thought to myself, sigh, actually, i think i'm the one that needs to go on a journey with monks.. if only the world would stop spinning for a moment right. i think my fear of doing things like this, of maybe just going off on my own for self reflection learning grow and gratification.. is that the world will continue spinning, and continue going on. i dont want to be left behind. and i guess its not just a valid fear, but actually smth that lol will happen wat. if i just try to go off for a while, the world will continue spinning, it wont wait for me.. so.. idk. i cant even rmr why i thought i'm a person who "needs to go on a journey with monks". probably because i am this sian..
i mean, sometimes i listen to the song "tonight's gonna be a good night" to try and tell myself, hiok you'll do fine, hiok you'll be ok tonight's gonna be great. sometimes i have to tell myself hiok jiayou, you can do it!! because idk. i feel like i'm not getting enough of it. maybe its all because of the front i put up la, ppl alw think i'm fine, i can make it, i know what i'm doing and i can handle things. even when i try to whine a bit ppl think its just whining and that i'm fine. but i've been pointed out that sometimes i'm not fine and no one knows. because i put up a front. i guess i put it up so as to not show anyone weakness, and so as to not let ppl who care abt me, whom i care, worry. but i think, well i've been told its not a good front to put up. i guess thats true, because i end upthe only person encouraging myself most of the time. and its not rly working..
i.. wish for something more to life than this. on a slightly separate note, i'm quite unhappy at myself. i am a person who has a lot of entropy sometimes. its good, its the reason for all the crazy ideas and stories i have, its probably the only reason i shine. but at the same time, i sometimes irritate the hell out of myself by being bothered by small things/small loose ends. not to mention that within 5 mins i can feel like a world of time has passed, and i wonder to myself "why arent things happening, why is everyone taking so long", and i check my watch and its been what, 5, 10 mins. i thought that one phrase appropriate would be that, i want myself to be more 不动如山.
just some thoughts..
past week, i stayed over twice in school cos i reasoned that travelling back home takes up too much time :( its not that i'm hardworking, i dont like stayover and study throughout the night! i still sleep 12 to 9 or smth, i just dont have to travel to school in the morn anymore haha!
and as evidenced by today (sunday spent at home), i have to study in sch -.- its not much more productive, but theres no bed/psp/comp to distract me (yes, i'm not even rly watching things or playing comp now, but i just hover here and waste time surfing.. /: ), if i do zone out in school, i return relatively fast cos theres nth to hmm prolong that zoning out xD
squatting in school has been fun :) i chose the least habitable place cos its resultantly also the quietest :) i intended to stay alone, but on both occasions i had friends with me throughout the night :) haha we debate about whether to off the lights as that's when the cockcroaches will start crawling out xD, as arjun put it, although cockroaches arent too bothersome, having the possibility of them crawling into our mouths if we off the lights "is a gamble we would not want to lose" hahaha. actually i've not seen ANY cockroaches before all the time's we've been there, but hello, if the bin has empty subway wrappers, a bengawan solo cake box, and lots of plastic drinks cups with straw and cover trash.. there should be cockroaches right haha.
wow and we actually cleared the bin! haha stacey randomly smsed that she dragged it out cos i guess she couldnt stand the sight of it, and eventually i decided to aiyah just clear the bin and bring it back in cos after all the bin belongs to the room. i overturned it and kept it at a corner, and i hope no one uses it anymore but instead throws their crap themselves at the bins outside of the room D:
mmm, eyes dry (played too much last night when i reached home, havent been home!) tired, deep need to study but sigh. tsk.. hmm. well i'll just finish this post and go back to try again. afterall i'm going back sch tmr.....
i was on the train the yesterday, listening to evanescence's bring me to life haha. such a p5/p6 song.. rmr the guy rapping behind amy lee's singing xD amy lee right? i cant even rmr her name.. i still rmr the days when i was young, and dreamt of being a rapper haha. a RAPPER!!! LOL like eminem, or linkin park.
then i was listening to john mayer's stop this train. i've grown to really like it. its rly nice, and the lyrics have rly nice meaning too.. stop this train, i wanna get off and go home again.. lol i went home and tried to play it on guitar, its surprisingly challenging! after half an hour or so of trying i kinda got the hang of it but wow i think to play it properly really needs practice. and i like the part where he talks to his dad abt when you turn 68, you renegotiate - dont stop this train. hmm... nice song.
suddenly i thought of the story we cooked up for g girish (the one for arjun is as awesome).. and i thought to myself, sigh, actually, i think i'm the one that needs to go on a journey with monks.. if only the world would stop spinning for a moment right. i think my fear of doing things like this, of maybe just going off on my own for self reflection learning grow and gratification.. is that the world will continue spinning, and continue going on. i dont want to be left behind. and i guess its not just a valid fear, but actually smth that lol will happen wat. if i just try to go off for a while, the world will continue spinning, it wont wait for me.. so.. idk. i cant even rmr why i thought i'm a person who "needs to go on a journey with monks". probably because i am this sian..
i mean, sometimes i listen to the song "tonight's gonna be a good night" to try and tell myself, hiok you'll do fine, hiok you'll be ok tonight's gonna be great. sometimes i have to tell myself hiok jiayou, you can do it!! because idk. i feel like i'm not getting enough of it. maybe its all because of the front i put up la, ppl alw think i'm fine, i can make it, i know what i'm doing and i can handle things. even when i try to whine a bit ppl think its just whining and that i'm fine. but i've been pointed out that sometimes i'm not fine and no one knows. because i put up a front. i guess i put it up so as to not show anyone weakness, and so as to not let ppl who care abt me, whom i care, worry. but i think, well i've been told its not a good front to put up. i guess thats true, because i end upthe only person encouraging myself most of the time. and its not rly working..
i.. wish for something more to life than this. on a slightly separate note, i'm quite unhappy at myself. i am a person who has a lot of entropy sometimes. its good, its the reason for all the crazy ideas and stories i have, its probably the only reason i shine. but at the same time, i sometimes irritate the hell out of myself by being bothered by small things/small loose ends. not to mention that within 5 mins i can feel like a world of time has passed, and i wonder to myself "why arent things happening, why is everyone taking so long", and i check my watch and its been what, 5, 10 mins. i thought that one phrase appropriate would be that, i want myself to be more 不动如山.
just some thoughts..
Monday, April 11, 2011
today i saw a baby, being carried by the mum. then the mum nuzzled her face with the baby's. :) and i thought to myself - yes that is the reason why i must work hard.
i momentarily saw the kid in the soft woolen light turquoise sweater we carried at the aids home in cambodia. i saw the innocent smile, and i almost felt us nuzzling..
yes that is the reason why i will toil, that is the reason why i must work hard..
go me! go today!!!!!
i momentarily saw the kid in the soft woolen light turquoise sweater we carried at the aids home in cambodia. i saw the innocent smile, and i almost felt us nuzzling..
yes that is the reason why i will toil, that is the reason why i must work hard..
go me! go today!!!!!
Saturday, April 09, 2011
今天，在远方的知音告诉了我伯牙绝弦的故事：
春秋时代，俞伯牙擅长弹琴，钟子期善于倾听。俞伯牙弹琴时，心里想到高山，钟子期说：“啊，我仿佛看见一座巍峨峻拔的泰山屹立在我眼前！”俞伯牙心里想到流水，钟子期说：“啊，我仿佛看见了奔腾不息的江河！”总之俞伯牙心里想的，钟子期就一定能知道他的心意。钟子期死后，俞伯牙觉得世上再也没有知音了，觉得很伤心。于是摔破了琴，挑断了琴弦，决定一生不再弹琴。
春秋时代，俞伯牙擅长弹琴，钟子期善于倾听。俞伯牙弹琴时，心里想到高山，钟子期说：“啊，我仿佛看见一座巍峨峻拔的泰山屹立在我眼前！”俞伯牙心里想到流水，钟子期说：“啊，我仿佛看见了奔腾不息的江河！”总之俞伯牙心里想的，钟子期就一定能知道他的心意。钟子期死后，俞伯牙觉得世上再也没有知音了，觉得很伤心。于是摔破了琴，挑断了琴弦，决定一生不再弹琴。
你不愧是你
未喝的酒，味都给你闻到
只可惜这毒，找不到解药⋯⋯
未喝的酒，味都给你闻到
只可惜这毒，找不到解药⋯⋯
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
and throw in that some of them are mindlessly, brainlessly, stupid..
i'm really just waiting for the last frame:
the comic is from picturesforsadchildren.com haha.
my bedsheet is now fluorescent orange GAHHHHHHH :(
Monday, April 04, 2011
i've already decided that the car i want to drive next time, is the simple black convertible kim jo han drives in his MV of his song "love is late, i'm sorry"!! haha. its a v straightforward looking car, doesnt look frilly or catchy or "special, but it is a convertible yes. i dont even care if its an expensive car (likely), even if it were a cheapo car (unlikely), i'd still want it to be the car i drive next time :D it just looks so, sleek in a normal way xD
Sunday, April 03, 2011
stories, movies...
link: total awesomeness
link: total horribleness, seriously
there is a pasar malam near my house!! i bought a ramly burger :D cant wait to devour it. pasar malams are like dying out or smth i've not seen them in such a long time.. and those of the past (when i was a child), had CAROUSELS and RIDES, and STALL GAMES like shooting, throw balls/hoops, tikam tikam omg! i think all went out of business thanks to modernization.
link: total horribleness, seriously
there is a pasar malam near my house!! i bought a ramly burger :D cant wait to devour it. pasar malams are like dying out or smth i've not seen them in such a long time.. and those of the past (when i was a child), had CAROUSELS and RIDES, and STALL GAMES like shooting, throw balls/hoops, tikam tikam omg! i think all went out of business thanks to modernization.